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Sunday Deliberations: Something personal.
3:00 AM
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Big, big news. More than big. HUGE.
If you've followed my blog over the last few years, you may have read about some of my personal struggles on this blog...at least, my very vague allusions to them. To make at least one of them more clear, I have been un-, or more accurately, under-employed for the last three and a half years--since I finished grad school. I moved to the U.S. from Canada seven and a half years ago in hopes of being guided towards long-term success, but for a long time that success was nowhere to be found.
Over-educated (if there's such a thing), up to my eyeballs in student debt, living at home, and a dead-end job--a disastrous combination. It has been an incredibly long struggle. Despite all my efforts, I couldn't make any progress. I've heard all the excuses: "We're not hiring", "You don't have enough experience", "You are overqualified", "You're not the right fit", etc., etc. I've had many, many moments where I felt like it that light at the end of the proverbial tunnel was off and that it was all just a hopeless battle. Every time I thought I had hit rock bottom, I sank deeper. It has been one crazy emotional roller coaster. But after much persistence, and a lot of downs (many more than ups), I finally got a job! And the best part? I'm moving home!
I'm extremely excited, relieved, and all those great things that you feel with a new chapter of your life is beginning. I also can't wait to be with my friends and family again. Despite such an amazing opportunity with tons of potential to grow professionally, admittedly, there is also a part of me is a bit sad. As much as I am ecstatic about what is to come, the moment is somewhat bittersweet. It has taken me a long time to get here, and along the way I lost a few things that were very important to me and I am not sure if I will ever get them back. Of course, that is life--in time, we both gain things and we lose things, and we must accept the fact that life may not ever be exactly the way we want it to be. So yes, a part of me is disappointed, but I am happy to be able to finally move forward in my career and to see what else will fall into place.
Now if you are wondering about what is going to happen with this blog, I honestly have no idea. There is a possibility that the blog might continue along exactly the way has been, albeit with a different background, of course. However, there is also the possibility that it might get better, or that it will slow down dramatically. I guess we won't know until the new year when I start my new position. What I do know is that this new job is going to require some consistently long hours, especially as I try to hit the ground running (I'm known to be a bit of a workaholic), but we'll see what happens. So at least to start, this blog will likely slow down until I can settle in and find a groove, but I do hope to keep it going. So if this blog does not continue it won't be for lack of trying.
And the other big question: is it time for some shopping?? Probably not. Over the last several years, I've slowly built up my work wardrobe, and although the basic wardrobe is not quite close to "complete", I've done fairly well. Although I could use a few sheath dresses and blouses, I don't think I *need* to make any major additions except for a new suit. I'm also not getting a huge increase in salary to start, so the shopping budget isn't going to get any larger, unfortunately. I may add a few pieces here and there, but I've noticed that when I make pressure purchases for the sole purpose of growing my wardrobe as I did when I first started working, I don't make smart choices. So in the interest of keeping my wardrobe only filled with practical things that I love, new additions will likely be minimal. I am, however, considering a new handbag to use for work. ;)
Thank you so much to all of you who have followed me through my personal struggles these past few years despite the fact that I have never shared the details. I am so thankful for all your support even if you didn't know you were providing it. ;) I hope for there to be plenty more for me to share with you. xCher
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